It has been long long since I really write on this blog. Many things have changed within the last months; decisions, circumstances, etc., but I praise God for every single thing. Although sometimes I did not understand why certain things happened in ways I least expected, however, as the days went by, I would begin to realize that God is working, and that His plans did serve one purpose: for me to chase His dreams and not mine. Many times God asked, Joyce, do you love me more than all these? Than your dreams, than your ambitions, than yourself, than your family and than everything else? To be honest, I tried to take control of many things, but only to end in disappointment and frustration. Putting God's directions as my priority is a real challenge especially during times when I thought my dreams are right. God told me He has a BIG dream for me, and I'm in the midst of discovering the whole picture.
Coming to Singapore is like how the Israelites were commanded to explore Canaan land in Numbers 13. I do not know how it came about, even up to today, and here am I sitting in the land which I knew nothing about. I came like a blind man, knowing nothing of what's ahead of me, and where I'll end eventually. Just like how the Israelites were led out of Egypt. Had no place to stay, no idea of the country (have not been here for like 20 years!), no job engagement, and a long stay pass which had not been approved at my point of entry. All I knew was I'm going to the land of KIASU, where people are known to be 'selfish', very competent, and seemingly like 'perfect people' who think they are 'better' people. No offence, these were just rumours spread to my ears (For those out there who has this perception, Singaporeans are actually very nice people). But God said come with faith, and so I came.
If I read Numbers 13 again, I feel my own condition almost similar to the Israelites, when they freaked out after discovering that the residents of Canaan land are powerful, strong and very big. They were terrified, because the descendants of Anak were living there. They trusted their own eyes, instead of God. They were too comfortable, too protected that they took God's blessings for granted. And the fact that God wanted to bless them with a land flowing honey and milk was pushed away because of this fear.
But I adored Caleb, because despite of what he saw, he believed that the army is able to take possession of the land (Numbers 13:30). His dream was what God had wanted to bless the Israelites with. He acknowleged this dream, and knew His God, the most mighty of all, will protect and help them win over this land flowing with milk and honey.
The moment we touched down (exactly a week ago), my Lord has been very gracious. Everything went into place. Arrived midnight to a kind immigration officer and a helpful taxi driver, found a miraculous place of stay to rent the next day at a slightly lower market price but better condition (like buying a honda jazz that runs and looks like a Mercedes) and a very nice landlady, fruitful job interviews in less than a week, long stay pass is here, God's favour on us and with man and many more. The Lord is about to do many more miracle things and I know it in my heart that He wants to bless me with the land flowing with milk and honey. Amen and PTL!
Many people wondered and asked. To be honest, I do not know why God put me in Singapore either. I really do not know, but now that I'm here by faith, I'm going to let God take control.