Third Trimester

I have been wanting to put up some photos, but blogger changed its layout and stuff, and my poor internet explorer is unsupported therefore the setting goes a bit haywire here and there. The photo icon is gone and i can't even format my blog entry! In addition, i have been feeling very lazy; all i want to do is take naps in the afternoons, especially when i haven't got a proper sleep the night before due to this naughty little ninja. I'm officially in my third trimester now. Phew, how time flies, and ninja is coming out soon. Think i'm going to miss the times he's inside me; kicking and tickling me with all sorts of movement. And boy, he can really kick! Gives me surprises and jumps every night. Went for antenatal checkup tonight; and midwife told me Yaya is lying transverse - which means head on one side and buttock on the other (horizontally). That explains why i had so much trouble sleeping on either sides! When i'm lying on my left, it feels like little feets are stepping on me and i get kicks like ...... ohhH!! On my right, i feel 'geli', like someone is tickling tickling tickling tickling me with his little hands. Well, that is my little boy! I've got nothing to complain literally, he's been so well, giving me no sickness, upsets, heartburn, swelling or whatsoever for the last seven months. And praise God, my vitamin D is back to normal - or what they define as, optimum level for healthy bones! Woohoo!! And my sugar level from the glucose challenge test was near to the lower end; midwife told me it was 'perfect' coz asians normally have higher sugar level due to rice intake and stuff. Thank God that those chocolates, ice creams and gelatos are not doing me harm. In fact she told me to keep up :-P. LOL. I can't wait to see my little prince charming!!

Can't tell?

I'm almost seven months preggie .. 27 + weeks, and most people can't tell i'm pregnant unless i tell them. :-(. So sad. I wonder if i go on a public transport, would anyone offer their seat for me? According to checkups, baby is growing normal. Size is right. and weight is ok. I find my tummy really big. But why most people can't tell? The guys are happily comparing their spare parts (belly) to mine, and still are not able to justify why their tummies seem to appear bigger. Only dear hubby is claiming and feeling relieved, that at last i have a bigger tummy than his. Oh well, Ya Ya is 1kg di! Growing bigger and stronger. Got more environmental friendly reusable nappies and sleeping suits for him. Wanted to buy baby sleeping bags and swaddles but find them too expensive. Like AUD 89.99 one. Baby items are dear, they really burn our wallets; a car seat costs AUD 449. A pram costs AUD 549. A cot costs AUD 200 +++. One reusable nappy costs AUD 9 (and this is when they are on offer!) Imagine how many nappies i have to buy???!!!! A set of Phillip Avent bottles and manual breast pump costs AUD 169 (i wish i can have an electric breast pump but they cost AUD249 alone :-( ). Baby clothes cost at least AUD10 one clothing and they only last for like 1-2 months? Sigh, being a parent is expensive!

Three months to go ....

Less than three months to my due date n i'm getting excited! Ya Ya has been kicking a lot, and he loves to play 'hide and seek' with daddy. Lol. When daddy is talking and he hears daddy's voice, he kicks like ninja. But when daddy calls his name and peeps, he keeps extremely quiet and then kicks again after daddy is gone. LOL. My weight is pretty constant now, no more weight gain in the last month coz i gained extremely a lot in the first five months. Hopefully the more kgs to come are due to Ya Ya and not because i'm getting fat. :-S. Walking seems to be a tiring chore nowadays; i puffed and huffed after a 10-minute slow walk; and i have difficulty squatting down! Have been munching on Toblerone for the last couple of weeks. You'll be surprised if I tell you how many 400g bars I've finished, and how many ice creams I've had. LOL. And i have my diabetes blood test tomorrow! **Cross fingers** That also explains the pimples and acnes. **Sigh** Sigh ** Bad mommy! It's just strange that i no longer like the foods i used to love so much, and i'm eating foods i don't eat! Well except bananas though :-P. Hopefully Ya Ya will come out healthy and strong, and God, please help me to endure labour pains!

Free for the time being

My boy is the best! Supportive, never gave me any problem even though i only had few hours of sleep, had to work 16 hours a day and he likes chocolate and ice creams so much! LOL. Mommy loves little Ya Ya. I just finished my last paper of the year before heading for a long break and preparing for Ya Ya's arrival. Lots of stuff to do. to buy (sigh). and i'm moving house! Praise God for everything. P/s: My hubby is good too! Like father like son. :-)

My regrets

Have been long since i really write. Many things happened lately, and i'm getting exhausted inside and out. I can't sleep well every night. My heart hurts like mad. My tears cannot stop flowing. I'm losing all my hair soon and my eyes look like some puff candies. Sigh. I feel so wronged towards the little bub growing inside me. I feel like i'm not a good mother at all, and maybe i'll never be one. I feel like i'm such a disappointment to everyone. I don't deserve to live and continue to be a heart wrecker. People suffer when they are with me. Their lives are made harder because of me.

During the day, i worried myself with the piles of assignment sitting on my table. The big book of wastewater enticing me to complete my stupid crap WWTP design asap. The pile of literatures warrant me to quickly quickly finish up before the next assignment comes. I love my studies. I love what i'm doing. In fact, i probably love them more than i should, i'm turning into a workholic or a studyholic (if this word even exists) working from the morning to 4am the next morning. I can't even shut my eyes for more than 6 hours without thinking or having weird dreams. Despite this, baby, i hope you are finding enough rest and comfort inside me. He has been so sweet, not causing any trouble or problem as i was working.

Last night as i was sitting alone in the dark living room, i wrote two pages long letter to God or rather 50-50 coz miraculously half of it seems to be what God was saying. I realised so many things. Things that are relatively easy but due to the poor roots and soils i've grown in, i do things the way i didn't even realise has hurt many many others and despised myself from this society. My heart sank to the bottom, i really felt like ending my own life assuring myself everyone's life would be better off without me. But i was hessitant, because little Ya Ya deserves that chance of living his life to the fullest extent and i am in no position or right to take that away from him. My only prayer now is that he will come into this world and grow up a different and much better person, unlike his mom. 

Ya Ya is my aspiration to change and come in terms with the realisations i have made last night with God. I really want to be the best i could for him, no matter what the future and today holds. I want to do things differently, leave the past behind, learn from them and strive hard to raise my little bud.

DO POT DO POT DO POT DO POT!

Baby's heartbeat is 162 per minute today, increased from 150 last week! Was he sleeping last week? Or was he excited that doctor's gonna check on him today? LOL. Doctor said he has stretched to the middle, was on the right side of the uterus 4 weeks ago, gosh, my baby has grown so much!

Praise God for everything! 

I am expecting!

Hehe. Yes i am expecting! It feels so surreal honestly. The fact that someone little is growing inside me, but i am not feeling anything. People say i'm very blessed. No morning sickness, no nauseas, no vomiting, no nothing! In fact i've gained 6kgs throughout the 15 weeks (yes little Ya ya is 15 weeks now! :-)) and my appetite is monstrous. Not like i can eat the whole cow in one meal, but i get hungry every now and then, despite that steak or cottage pie for lunch. The interesting part is, i still look like i haven't gained any weight (can't really see the baby bump yet), but weight is pilling up and trousers can't button up (though can wear without buttoning) anymore. The midwife told me it's normal to gain 11-16kgs till the baby is born, n i've already gained 6kgs???!!

I get lots of question from people around, and today i just feel like noting them down. I haven't announced my pregnancy publicly, but words just spread around huh? All you have to do is just tell one person, n the whole class will know. LOL. So here goes:

1) When did u realise you were pregnant?

To be honest, i wasn't expecting i was going to be, in fact, i even prepared enough sanitary pads for my period! It was supposed to come on Chinese New Year, which was the 23rd Jan 2012. But it didn't come. One week passed. Then the second week. Still no sign of it although i had some period cramps. My period has always been constant and late means something. Told my mom-in-law (wasn't speaking to hub coz we had a big fight) and she got a pregnancy kit test for me from the hospital. Test result: two pink lines (positive). To cut short, i guess i found out i was pregnant in early feb. 

2) Did you have any symptoms?

Yes i do. But not sickness and nausea (am feeling healthy as ever). My boobs have changed, nipples grew bigger and darker and my old bras cannot fit anymore. I had some preference over certain foods at the very early stage. The weirdest part is these foods are not my favourite at all! I don't eat noodles, but i craved for them so hub brought me to this restaurant in Beijing which is supposedly famous for 'Zha Jiang Mian' and i gobbled up the whole big bowl of noodles! LOL. And then i craved for pizzas and cheeses. Then milk tea and weird stuff. It changes every week! Nevertheless the amazing part is, I can't take coffee now anymore, not because i can't, but i hate them! Yuck, i never knew coffee smells and tastes that bad! Honestly, before i knew i was expecting, i drank my usual cup of coffee in the morning, n it took sooooo long to finish, i had to threw half cup away. LOL. Pregnancy opens my eyes to things i have never seen before. And of course, i had those menstrual like cramps (which they say is normal) and dizziness when the sun is too bright or i'm hungry! Guess what, sweet stuff (biscuits etc) doesn't work for me when my tummy is growling, i need to have meat or savoury items. My hub calls me a meat eater! And ya, toilet visits are more frequent now (at least one every night!).

3) Were your hub and family happy when they knew?

Yes they are; my hub was repeating 'ta du po la' every morning since i was pregnant (like he couldn't believe he's going to be a dad after 3 years!) and he has been feeding me very well! My in laws and parents were overjoyed at the news of being grandparents; feeding me with constant advices and warnings. My dad told me he couldn't believe how time flies; once his baby girl with little hair holding a chrysanthemum drink and now going to be a mother! 

4) How many checkups/ultrasounds have you been and how often do you go for review?

So far i've been to one ultrasound only. I found out i was pregnant in Beijing, but only at Week 9 i went to see a doctor i.e. after returning to Melbourne. Did the first trimester screening and test in Week 10 and 12, and everything came out normal and healthy except my Vitamin D level, which the doctor said is quite bad. LOL. Other than tat, risks of abnormality, chromosome defects, down syndrome etc were low. 

I don't have to go for review very often, in fact i don't have to visit the doctor until Week 21 which is after my 2nd ultrasound. 

5) Any preference over the gender? girl or boy?

From the first ultrasound, the doctor said the baby is very likely to be a boy. I have no preference myself; girl or boy as long as the baby is healthy. My hub though, was a bit disappointed, coz he was expecting twins (dunno where he got the idea that i may have twins) but he was still happy having a little boy. My mom in law wanted a girl as a start, coz daughters are more obedient n 'ku jia'. I guess the happiest person is my dad in law, who prefers a son coz then someone can carry on the family name! My dad was delighted; guess after having three daughters, a boy is nice change. LOL. The gender can only be confirmed after my 2nd ultrasound which is 5 weeks from now.

6) Got yourself any maternity clothes? Guess you need some soon?

Yes i have a number of maternity clothes hiding in the unopened luggage. Thanks to my kiasuness, i spent my time shopping for maternity and certain baby items when i was in Beijing. 

7) Have you bought any baby clothes and stuff? Or are you getting ready to?

I have a big bag of baby clothings, all thanks to my mom in law who already started buying one and a half years ago. Half girl apparels and half boy. I was looking at the clothes the other day, and there were some pink ones which I decided were a bit girly but hub thought they were fine (lol, he even asked on Facebook). So, don't laugh if u see my son in pink. Still haven't got baby cot, pram, baby carseat, breast pump etc.

8) What do you feel being a mom soon?

Terrified! But i'm enjoying the fact that i am going to see and raise my own child soon! For now, all i ask is a smooth delivery and a healthy baby! 

9) Any names planned for the baby?

I am not going to reveal his name until after he's born. But at the meantime, i will refer him as Little Ya Ya! 

10) When's the baby's due date?

According to ultrasound and last menstrual date, it's the 28th September. My midwife decided it should be the 29th, coz i have a 30-day cycle. Hub wants me to tahan till the 1st Oct (which is his b'day!) and  he has been telling baby to stay in mommy for extra 3 days! LOL.