Acceptance, forgiveness and love

Relationships are complicated aren't they? Sometimes i just don't understand why  and how it can get complicated, when God has summoned us to love one another as how we love ourselves. I have failed myself; when i think back i regret the times when i should have done better and straighten things the way they should be instead of leaving them unresolved.  

As a Christian since young, i was thought to love, to forgive and to accept. To love and forgive someone is never an easy task. Especially when you have been hurt; scarred by the wrongdoings or mistakes of someone. But God reminds me that He is a God of love. Jesus died for everyone. For the murderers, the thieves, and the rapists. He even died for the soldiers and Jews who put him to the cross!  So who am I to say I shouldn't forgive? Who am I to say that I can never accept? When God has sent His only Son to die for even the worst of the worst?

Every family has a problem. Every relationship is deemed to be sour at some point. You may go green with envy watching a loving family who seemed to have no issues of their own, and who appeared to be 'living happily ever after'. Again, who knows the reality behind closed doors? Who understands the sufferings and numerous arguments they have had but God? Do people reveal the truth in their lives? Not me, and i am not proud to admit this. Being judgemental is a common issue. Nobody is perfect in this world. Everyone is different. Just because someone is different and they say/do things differently doesn't mean they are not acceptable. Because again, God loves them still and expects us to love them as ourselves. 

Being a mother soon has made me think a lot. Made me realised the mistakes i have committed, and the changes i want to make to influence my son to be the person i pray he will be. I cannot change things in the past or dwell on my mistakes, but i can learn and improve. I hope I am able to teach my kids the real meaning of unconditional love and forgiveness. I pray they will grow up to find that even in the cruel and cold world we are living in today; it is still desperately in search of love, which only God our Saviour can bring. 

God, i know i cannot turn back time and change things. But You have told me to believe in You and not let my heart be troubled (John 14:1). I ask for Your forgiveness, Your patience and wisdom and most important of all, Your love to abide in this place. Amen.

The prayer need of the week: peace and joy. I hope i can just focus on my labour and not let other unnecessary 'happenings' affect my wellbeing and emotion during labour. That Ya Ya can come into this world safe and sound. 

Countdown: One Week

Little Ya Ya is due in exactly a week! **Excited mode**. He has been stretching himself from time to time, despite the limited space he has now. Sometimes when mommy is not sitting right, he will pop his little back and feet to adjust himself. The best part is he is curling in the right position, getting ready to come out!

Mommy is not feeling anything yet at the moment, except for the constant nature call and mild pelvic discomfort. On top of that, nose is still bleeding from time to time (strange!) but not too serious, sore throat at night (dry?) and cough/runny nose. 

P/S: Mommy is going to miss Little Ya Ya inside her. 

A Saturday morning

Pack..pack..pack...Last minute mommy busy packing her hospital bag and Little Ya Ya's clothes. LOL, and still not finalised till today. 

Yesterday marked the beginning of my Week 38, which means i have two weeks before Ya Ya' arrival. And let me share with you a horrible thing that happened yesterday morning. My stuffy nose bled for the first time!! I was in the toilet when blood started dripping; and almost got a shock of my life coz i thought i was going into labour; but then again the colour wasn't right (should be pinkish instead of bright red, bright red means miscarriage?). I started wiping my nose in horror to literally realising that blood was flowing from there. What a first time experience. I used to wonder why i never had nose bleed when i was young after seeing my classmates having them. LOL.

Everyone thinks i have too much 'heat' inside (thanks to the korean buffet, nuts, chocolates and oppppssss, did you drink a little coffee?). I blamed it on the dry air in the room (coz my nose tends to get stuffy in the morning) and maybe the 'heatiness' (have been having sore throat also). To cool me down, hubby got me more coconuts (yeah!), so he'll be opening one for me everyday! I want to eat watermelon too,  ya.... 

Anyway, despite what happened in the morning, i was glad i managed to fulfil one of my promises to hub. He's a quiche lover and every time he buys one from the cafe, i would tell him i would make this for you... not that hard....bla bla bla...my baker's crap. LOL. Well, finally the homemade vegetable and bacon quiche he has been waiting. Doesn't look very nice for a first timer but taste wise, my man is happy!

Parents are arriving in a couple of days! :-D

Pictures at last

As i am heading towards week 38 soon, i would like to share some pics before my dear pumpkin comes into this world. I promised (sort of) a number of people that i would pose some pictures; however i was too lazy and fatigue is an issue these days. In addition, my days have been busy, busy preparing for the arrival of this little one who happens to have a lot of stuff. I just finished washing the 4th batch; and guess what, my laundry bag is still full of his stuff. 

Anyway, this is a picture from my ultrasound which i think shows quite a clear side view of him. My dear Yaya, mommy soo cannot wait to see you! 

This is how the BIG mommy looks now. I contemplated whether i should pose this;  but then again, how many times do i get to look so 'ripe'? LOL.

 Yes, he is MJ although i won't reveal his name yet.

I am having more frequent toilet trips at night nowadays and carrying him seems to be getting heavier. Apart from that and being tired, i guess i am doing fine! :-D

Anytime now

I am now officially in my 37 weeks, which means baby is full term. Went for my usual antenatal checkup last thursday, and midwife said baby Ya Ya is very down down now. No wonder the pelvic pains i've been having. He can pop out anytime from now, which i cross my fingers and hope not coz Mommy still has tons to do! Nevertheless, they said first time babies tend to come out late, sometimes pass due dates and i've been telling Ya Ya to stay on till Daddy's birthday. LOL.

Now that it's close to our son's arrival, I asked my hub last night how he felt about being a Daddy. First answer 'Nervous'. Second answer, 'My wife may not give me her attention anymore. And nobody will make me french toast for breakfast'. I laughed the instance i heard him. 'Are you jealous of your son?' He shyly nodded his head. 'No worries, you will still get your scrumptious brekkies, i promise.' 

In my mind, i thought of the word 'finally'. We have been married for nearly four years before this little one comes along and i guess we have been giving each other that 100% attention that a sudden change could take a while to adjust. LOL. But it's not going to be difficult. Because Ya Ya is our bundle of joy, God's given blessing, so wonderfully and beautifully created as a product of our love, isn't it?

Daddy has been busy cleaning and clearing the garden, washing the driveways and both cars during the weekends and Mommy is getting ready Ya Ya's stuff. I cannot believe how much stuff this little pumpkin has; despite that he is still swimming in Mommy's womb and has not met the world. Just his clothes alone - takes up to two full loads of washing (Two may not be much for adult clothings but baby clothes are so tiny weeny, two is actually a lot). Plus his blankies, towels, handtowels, wraps? oh my! And guess what, i still have my shopping list. These Mommy and Daddy are crazy. Babies nowadays....so blessed. They have everything. LOL. 

I will post some pictures soon and do, please pray for my labour. :-D

9 months

Gosh. Finally. I couldn't update my blog for the last of couple days; not sure why Windows IE was not able to load the page properly. Had to switch to Mac OS to do it instead. Guess I shouldn't set Windows as the preferred OS on a MacBook? Serves you right! 

Exactly a month to my due date! Ya Ya should be weighing ..... Sorry i don't really know coz hospitals here don't do ultrasounds unless there is a special case and they don't weigh us as well. But i guess he should be near to or 3 kg di. He has been very guai. Although mommy has been busy (very busy) walking here and there, doing shopping at various places, cooking, washing, baking and baking as there were guests coming (and more coming tomorrow for dinner), he didn't fuss a lot. Giving me no pains, no swelling and no backaches! How blessed! Carrying Ya Ya is like a little balloon inside. It feels heavy but sometimes i do tend to forget I AM PREGNANT. Like today, i haven't really sat down properly to rest apart from the drives and meal times, and now i am suffering from very tired legs. 

I am heading towards my 36 weeks in two days; which means i am officially 9 months preggie then. And i still have tons of chores to do. 

1. Wash Ya Ya clothes, blankies, swaddles, wraps, towels, nappies (basically ALL his stuff)

2. Still need to buy his cot mattress, and cupboard. 

3. His toiletries are not complete yet. 

4. Install infant car seat (DONE)

5. Pampers and Baby wipes (DONE)

6. Sterilise TOYS and ROCKER 

7. Sterilise Breastpump and all feeding tools

8. Pack hospital bag (At least i have washed the bag) 

9. Sterilise his bath tub. 

10. Source the confinement herbs (Mom is bringing some over, but i still need a few others)

11. Apply Baby Bonus (Half DONE)

12. Source my own post antenatal stuff e.g. maternity pads etc etc (Half DONE)

With all these chores, it's going to be another busy and hectic week ahead!

Updates from Week 33

7 weeks to go to my little pumpkin's arrival. Still got heaps of preparation, and i'm getting nervous not because of the labour pains that i'm about to endure but the tons of chores that i have to finish before he comes to planet Earth. The few bags of clothing still need unpacking; the rags need washing; the baby stuff need sterilising, some more shopping to be done, more cleaning, unfinished applications, and the list goes on. I haven't even look at the ingredients/food list for my confinement yet, and i'm supposed to check out the chinese shops to see if these items are available here. Sigh. Seems like our attention has been diverted to the new place instead of the fact that our bubby YA YA is coming in less than 2 months! I hope he stays in mommy for another 2 days. Come out on the 1st Oct will you? Having said all these, I just realised that I'm in Week 33 now, and am feeling very thankful that pregnancy has been going awesome so far. Although i have lower stamina nowadays, my feet and hands are still in normal shapes and sizes, no swelling watsoever, and shoes are still fitting well. And of course, my wedding ring still fits hehehe. No constipation, no backache, no heartburns, no constant cramps (apart from short night leg cramps which often goes off after 2-3 minutes). I do look very big now though; especially sideways like as if there is a balloon hidden underneath. Hehe, n my little pumpkin is still as active as always! P/S: Can you believe my hubby is encouraging Ya Ya to be a F1 driver almost everyday?